Shelly (Michelle) 8-26-11 ~ Little Girl Lost

Initial Impressions – 17 year old girl named Michelle, goes by Shelly & Shell. Light brown hair, a little longer than shoulder length, bangs over to the side. Medium build with a curvy figure. From Atlanta GA area, runaway that ended up in Tallahassee FL. Died in 1997.

Shelly sat down in the chair in front of me but didn’t really talk much. She gave me a lot of impressions though. I was immediately filled with love and compassion for her. She told me she wanted to tell me her story. We decided that I would channel her and she would share through automatic writing. Shelly’s Story is that automatic writing session.

                                                               Shelly’s Story

What happened to you Shelly, you are so young? (Channeled the following with automatic writing) I guess I sort of self destructed, using drugs, alcohol & sex to numb myself. I felt too much and I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I was a prostitute before I died, it was the only way I could survive. My drug of choice was heroine  but on this particular night this guy offered me some heroine. Said it would relax me, make me so numb nothing on Earth would matter too me. Oh my God he was so right. It felt better than anything I ever felt before. I remember thinking, why haven’t I done this sooner. This is what I have always needed. I kept  slipping away further and further, I was guessing  this was normal. But I kept drifting more and more and I started to get scared. I started to drift too far & I was trying to hold on but I couldn’t stop my descent.  The next thing I knew I was outside my body. I just stood there staring at myself laying there in a crumpled heap. I didn’t know if I was dead or dying. I was just so helpless. I watched as the man who had given me the heroine raped me. I was so angry, I kept yelling at him to stop! He didn’t even notice I was dead or dying…he didn’t care. All he cared about was using me and when he was done he left. I cried for a long time. I felt  compassion for myself for the first time in as long as I could remember. I wasn’t numb anymore, I was feeling all my emotions and it was overwhelming.  My body lay there all night and no one ever noticed I was dead. I sat there beside me for what seemed to be an eternity.  Over the night I had gotten lighter and lighter I believe this was my body dying and me being released. When they finally noticed I was dead, this fat Hispanic guy began yelling. I remember him saying “Fuck man, a dead whore in the house! What the hell were you thinking!” They yelled and cussed and panicked.  True to form, just as in life, in death I was nothing more than a problem and inconvenience.  So they took me out and tossed me out like garbage. I cried so very hard, how could life be so cruel and unfair? Was there no goodness and love in the world. If there is I sure the hell haven’t seen it. So I have been roaming around ever since, never went home. I haunted those who wronged me for a while trying to cause them pain like they had caused me. Then I haunted those who reminded me of their type, this brought me a sense of justice for a while. But then like in life with the drugs, in death I started to feel numb, things were getting hazy & I began to feel so lost…. (End automatic writing session)

Can we talk about why you ran away Shelly?     

“Oh that’s easy I was always such a burden on my family, they always told me so. So I decided to do them a favor and just go. I was always alone in my family so why not sever the tie and leave.”

     Why weren’t you close with your family?

“I never knew my father & my Mom was always from one boyfriend to the next. Hell I lost my virginity to one when I was 13. What’s really screwed up is he treated me better than the res of them. He was probably the best one she ever had, sad huh? I guess that’s why I left my life was just fucked up. My boyfriend told me we would be happy. That he would take car of me & we would start our own life and family. I was stupid and I believed him. We ran away and ended up in Tallahassee. We both got addicted to Meth but he became strung out really bad. He pimped me out to support our habit. Then one day I came home and he was just gone. I kept thinking he would be home soon but he never came back. He had abandoned me just like everyone else in my world. After that I just spiraled downward. I no longer had hopes or dreams, I just existed. This is why I felt in a way my death was suicide, because I just didn’t care.”  (I spoke to her about healing her past)

Did you see the light when you died?

Yeah it freaked me out! It was so intimidating I wasn’t going anywhere near it, besides going in the light is for old people. Its gone now anyway.”
All your loved ones are there in the light. People you didn’t even knew you had that love you are waiting for you there. Great-grand parents, people from other lifetimes they are all there waiting to embrace and love you. That one thing you are missing, that gaping hole in your heart that has always needed to be filled with love, compassion and caring its all there waiting on you.. The light is love and it will make you whole by filling in the missing pieces.

“Is God there?”  Yes I believe he is but he is not what we think. He I bigger and better than that. Suffice to see the light is love and God is love. There is no religion there. That is something we cling to in our mortal lives.

Why did you come to me?  “To be heard, I feel desperate not to be forgotten. I wanted to share my story and hope it helped me to feel something. I don’t want to be lost forever. I want someone to miss me, to mourn me? Does that sound selfish?”  No not at all, it sounds natural. “I feel invisible, forgotten, I guess I just wanted to be seen and heard.” I know life has been hard for you. You deserved so much more than you got. A family to love and care for you and keep you safe. A life where you could make all your dreams come true. Life is hard though Shelly and so often it is not fair. The things that happened to you were not fair. But I want you to realize that life isn’t all bad. There are good people out there and there is a lot of love. I encourage you to look for the good. You have been searching out the bad for so long. It is time to see the other side too. I know you didn’t see a lot of it in life but there were good people out there who would have shown you love and compassion unfortunately it just didn’t work out.

My advice to you Shelly- I feel very strongly that you need to go home. I know you don’t want to but I don’t think you can truly be free and ready to move on until you go home. You need to see your mother again. Maybe now with clear eyes you can see more, feel more. Perhaps things in her life damaged her causing her not to be the mother you needed. Maybe she didn’t get the love she needed and she made some bad decisions just like you did.  You may be surprised to see time has changed things, you may feel love and compassion for her for the first time and a long time. Either way you will never know if you don’t try. I don’t think you will be able to move forward until you go home.

You can come to me if you need help with the light when you are ready. You can also find the light around other spirits who have recently passed, places like hospitals & funeral homes are good places to find the light.

“I have a lot to think about, thanks for listening to me.” (I was so touched by Shelly, I started to cry as I spoke to her)  No problem, I want you to know I will always remember you and I will mourn for you. You are not forgotten.

Then she stood up smiled, turned and walked out my front door.

Ghost Girl at the Mall 8-27-11~ You don't have to be a medium to see ghosts

My husband who considers himself a non-sensitive shared this with me last night, he kept seeing a little girl out of the corner of his eye when we were shopping at the mall Sunday. He kept thinking it was our daughter but he would turn and no one was there. On the escalators he felt crowded like someone was all up in his personal space. There were a couple of times he really got a good look at her in his peripheral vision. Enough to see it was a little girl there. When we meet up in the kitchen store and then left he no longer saw or felt her. But in the store he saw her numerous times in the aisles.

This brings up several good points. First we are all sensitive in some way. My husband for example sees a lot of things out of the corner of his eye. He tries to discount it but it happens a lot. (We see spirits more easily with our peripheral vision because the rods on the sides of our eyes  that see black and white are better suited to see these types of things). This would mean he is more clairvoyant, meaning able to see. He also startles in his sleep when spirits come in our bedroom at night. This lets me know that subconsciously he is aware of their presence.

Second, whats up with the little girl & why was she following him?  Spirits are all around us & I have stumbled across more than a few children in stores. They follow families there that they are attached to many times. Then they may approach you if you or your family seems like someone they remember. My husband with his two little girls with him may have reminded her of her own father so she followed him around until she got distracted and left. I have had them followed me home before.
I have noticed kids seem to drift from one family to another. They are trying to recreate that sense of belonging to a family.

Also I did not pick up on the little girl at all. This is because I was was busy and had tuned out the spirit world. I was closed so to speak and since she didn't interact or stand close to me I wasn't aware of her. Most of us even if we are sensitive are not tuned in all the time.

Donna (Eddington?) 8-23-11 ~ Sisters

                                               

Initial Impressions- Very refined looking woman mid 40s early 50s. No really seeing the details of her appearance as much as the way she carries herself. She just has an upper-class feel to her. Died of lung cancer around 2001 (Cairo GA area?)

                                                             

I ask how she is doing to day? As well as can be expected, considering. I have some questions.

Donna’s Questions

Where is my sister she died & I can’t find her? She promised to wait for me.

So she died before you Donna? Yes, but she promised to wait so we could move on together.  Its simple she is waiting for you in the light. I know you expected her to wait and you would go together but she saw it and knew it was better to wait there for you. Did you look for her in the light? No I refused to look at the  light, I am not going anywhere near it alone, she is my big sister I can’t do it without her!

You seem angry? Yes, I depend on her for everything I feel so betrayed.  Do you see the light? No it finally went away.  I know you feel hurt but I assure you she is waiting for you, waiting to welcome you into the light & show you everything that is there. Can I make the light so you can have a look see in there? No, not without her, what if she is lost somewhere and I can’t find her. I am picking up that she passed into the light very quickly after dying, so you have to go there to find her. I don’t know if I believe you.  That’s okay, if you change your mind look for another spirit with a nice bright light attached to them & look inside, I am sure you will see her there.

No good byes she just sort of left in a huff…..

Jenna Davis 8-22-11 ~ A Mother’s Loss

Jenna Davis 8-22-11 ~  A Mother’s Loss

Details and impressions- Young woman; shy, late 20’s-earl 30’s, dark hair pulled back in a ponytail. Wearing pink t shirt and jeans. Her build is slightly heavier than average. She did not sit in the chair at the table but stood behind me off to the side. She was reluctant to speak also. Date of death 2008 (I think).

“Can you help me? I can’t find my baby, can you help me find my baby?” 

Do you realize that you have died Jenna? “Yes, I figured that out but I am worried I think my baby died and I can’t find him, please will you help me?”  (Her voice is frantic, as a mother I recognize that fear that paralyzes you when you can’t find your child.) Do you know how you died? Do you realize what happened? She shakes her head noting her confusion. (At this point I have a very good psychic impression of her death).

You were in a car accident, the car was almost completely destroyed. You were pulled out and rushed to the hospital. “My baby was in there, my baby was in the car!” Miraculously your baby survived the accident and only had a few scraped and bruises. A bystander pulled him free right away. An ambulance rushed him to the hospital to be checked over before the freed you from the wreckage. The baby was treated and then released to child services. Meanwhile doctors tried to save you at the hospital. Do you remember? “I remember being outside of my body but I was still attached to it. I couldn’t leave but I couldn’t respond. I kept trying to tell people I needed to find my son. I even tried returning to my body but I was just stuck there. Sometimes I would be pulled into it all at once and then the next thing I remember I was out again.  Then I broke free, I could see them working on me, there was so much blood. I didn’t care I had to find him. I went all over the hospital but I couldn’t find him. Then I went home but no one was there.”

Jenna did you have any family? “No I was a single parent, I had no one, no family and no father my child. I never even told him I was pregnant. I was alone, it was just the two of us.” Okay when you died there was no one to care for your son so he was taken into custody by child protective services. The placed him in a temporary home and he was adopted very quickly. Unfortunately he was not brought to your funeral service so he never had any more contact with you. “After a long time of searching I became confused and despondent, I just shuffled through I don’t remember what I really did or thought. Just this since of fear & the nagging feeling of loss. Then I would remember what I was looking for, my baby!”

“Are you sure he isn’t dead?”

 I am sure he isn’t dead. If he would have died he would have shared a funeral with you. Did you attend your service? “ Yes, it was just a priest and someone  I didn’t know at the graveside. The said a  few prayers and that was it.”  If he was dead he would have been there.

What’s your son’s name?  His name is Buddy, can you help me find him, please?”

Yes and no. I cannot help you physically locate him. He has gone through the system and has been adopted. It is my personal experience that finding any information through child services is near impossible. However I am going to explain to you how you can find him yourself. Here is my advice to locate Buddy and help yourself also.

1. You need to reassess your death & what happened without panicking. This will help you remember things you have forgotten or blocked out.

2. Think of Buddy, imagine him; see this face, hear his life, remember his scent. Think of your memories of him. If you are clear this will bring you to wear he is now. If it doesn’t work at first keep practicing, it will. You don’t have a body to hold you back anymore, travel is much more simple now.

3. Make sure your son is okay, observe him, check out his new family and make sure they are loving and kind. Make sure he is happy. Remember years have passed he will have grown. “Will he be able to see me?”  Probably not, is hard to say though. Children are very sensitive to the spirit world & a connection between mother & child is a strong one. Remember though sometimes when in the presence of a spirit a person especially a child may become frightened. If this happens back off a bit and approach later. As you approach think of loving thoughts and memories of your son.

4. Last move on, Do you have a light? Yes but it is very dim. Either concentrate on expanding it or find someone else’s light. Funeral homes are a great place to find recently dead people with very strong lights. Almost everyone attends their own funeral so chances are good you will find one there. Doesn’t matter who the light is attached to. They all go the same place & when you look in there, there will be people waiting for you. “No one is waiting for me. I have no one.”  I know you think that but I promise THERE ARE PEOPLE WAITING FOR YOU, and more than you can imagine. You don’t have to be alone anymore. And when you go into the light you can come back and visit your son without frightening him. Also you can choose to come back as a guide or like a guardian angel for him. The light is always the way to go!

With that she just said a simple thanks and faded away. I know it was a lot to digest and she would be busy for a while…

Jonathan 8-18-11 ~ Easy Crossover

Jonathan 8-18-11  ~ Easy Crossover

First impressions are young male; medium build, brown hair, plaid button down shirt, jeans, brown dress boots. Hair is long enough you could run your fingers through it but not too long. Age about 25 with dark brown eyes. From Thomasville GA.

Died of cancer or some disease having to do with the liver, possibly due to heavy drinking. Date of death 2008. He felt guilty for being irresponsible & leaving his family behind, even worse that he left them emotionally long before his death.

How did you find me?  “Word of mouth, it gets around when there is a medium around not to mention one that is going to give us a chance to come through. I followed someone else here.”

Reason for visit? “I really just wanted to be heard. Its been so long since I actually had a conversation with someone. You take that for granted in life.”

Jonathans Questions

“Can I get through to loved ones?”  The best way to get through to your loved ones is through dreams. Its not scary and people seem much more receptive to this form of communication. Giving someone the same dream repeatedly also helps reinforce the message.

“How do I not scare people, I don’t want to be a creepy ghost?” First if your around a loved one and they start to feel scared back off, literally take a few steps back. Many people have a natural sensitivity to spirits and it creates a panic reaction in them. Try sending them loving thoughts and memories to connect them to you and to over ride those feelings of fear, If you are going to try to move something let it be something significant they can relate back to you. Try doing they same thing to multiple people so they can share their experiences with each other.

Then I took the time to discus crossing over and the light.  You know Jonathan there will be lots of people waiting for you on the other side. People you didn’t even realize were waiting. Everyone will be able to hear you and see you. There are lots of things to learn and experience there, plus you can come back to visit loved ones and you will no longer create that fear reflex in them. “Really?”  Yes, you can also choose to be reborn or return as a guide or guardian angel for a loved one.”Okay I am on board, lets do it!”  Dou you still have a light with you Jonathan? “Yeah but its  real small.”  Okay no problem, I am just going to help you expand it. I did this and he smiled, patted my hand and said goodbye. Then he walked through like it was no big deal.

Wow I was so surprised he crossed over like that. It made me think. How many times have I not taken the time to talk about crossing over to spirits I talk to. I just sort of take it for granted sometimes thinking they know about crossing over. If I wouldn’t have broached the subject he would have just kept on going about his merry way, earthbound. It took like 10 minutes to get him thinking about it. Also I am reminded again how lots of spirits really have no pressing business or important message. They just want to talk to someone and be acknowledged. I feel that! Must be a bit depressing not to be seen or heard. No wonder some spirits result in throwing tantrums and causing a ruckus. At least they know someone hears them!

Mary ~ My first session and reason for starting the Spirit Talk Project 8-16-11

Mary ~ My first session and reason for starting the Spirit Talk Project 8-16-11

My relationship with Mary is different from the others in the Sprit talk sessions. She has been appearing to me for as long as I have lived in my current home (about 8 years). Despite sensing and seeing Mary she has never tried to facilitate communication with me nor I with her. Maybe I just knew she wasn’t ready to speak to me or maybe it just hadn’t occurred to me. Either way we had seen a lot of each other and I had picked up a lot psychicly from her when she was around. She came to me on the night of 8-15-11 & I realized she had tried to approach me several times recently but I had not been receptive. You see I designate bedtime as off limits to spirits, even though it is the easiest time to reach me. What happen is I have spirits keeping me up all night or disturbing my sleep so that I am tired the next day.  It occurred to me this night when Mary came through that I leave very little time for spirits to get through to me when its not work related. As a medium I am open during sessions when people are trying to contact loved ones and I as a paranormal investigator I am open to spirits when I am on a case. But at home during the day to day I am hardly ever open for those in spirit who are trying to get through to me for their own reasons. So I decided that night while I was talking to Mary that everyday when I get up Mon.-Thurs. I would make coffee sit at the table and be open for an hour to who ever might want to come through. I made rules for the spirit to follow and designated a notebook to record their sessions in. I decided to call it Project Spirit Talk & it would start this night with Mary.

   Every time I saw Mary she has been soaking wet & I can tell she is cold & shivering. She is very young between 13-17, she is very thin & frail. Her skin is very fair and her eyes are dark and sunken in. She has very long dark hair that is parted in the middle & falls in her face. Even though she presents in this way I can see right away this is not how she was in life. She was incredibly beautiful with fine delicate features & would have no doubt grown into a stunningly beautiful woman. She looks this way because she identifies with her body which is in a cold, dark, wet place. She spends so much time down there with her body she projects these feelings on herself. I can’t help but feel her body is buried on or near my property. I don’t think it is in a graveyard but has been hidden in water or a very wet place. I picked up on an M for her name which later evolved into Mary. I believe her to have been called by two names (like the name Mary Anne for example) Mary Ellen? Mary Jane? I am unsure.

Mary really reached out this time she expressed that she was ready to talk and be heard. That she couldn’t remember who she was or how she died but she knows something bad happened to her. She wants to remember who she was & what happened. So this is my goal for her. I want to try to help her remember, make peace and move on. I would love to find her body and put it to rest but I don’t know if that’s a practical expectation. I have started doing as much research as I can on her. I believe her to be from the early to mid 1800’s and from my immediate area. Research has shown me that before this was Whigham GA the area I live in around Tired Creek was settled by William Hawthorne (The blazer of The Hawthorne Trail Wagon Trail) and his family. I am hoping to find a lead that brings be back to her. I do believe that there is at least one photograph of her in existence and that I will find an article or some mention of her disappearance. Both I and another medium have picked up some similar things about Mary. She was part of a large family mostly boys.  I believe there was some sort of incest involving the father or an older man. I feel like she died violently and either her body was hidden or something about the crime was hidden. I also feel like there were 2 younger male involved either directly with the crime or the cover up.

Questions from Mary

1. Why can’t I remember who I was or how I died?

Sometimes when a death happens suddenly and its traumatic a person blocks it out because its too much and too confusing. After an intense trauma at the time of death the person can go into a state of shock in which they are going through some motions but are unaware of their death and what is going on around them. In this state they either relive moments in their past or block out everything. Also the longer you are dead & don’t cross over the more your memories fade.

2. Will you help me find my body, find out who I am and what happened to me?

Yes I will try to help you anyway I can. I am going to see what I can pick up on psychicly. I am going to do some historical research & we are also going to try to jog your memory. I won’t promise we will find your body but I will try and we will find out more about you and what happened to you.

I want to talk to you now about moving on. Really there is no need to stay her and try to sort this out. Whatever happened to you in the past is over. There is no reason to stay with your body. Your free now,  you can go anywhere and see and do what you like. Better yet you can go into the light and move on. There are people on the other side waiting for you. Everything is so much better once you go into the light. Do you have a light with you?” No I haven’t seen the light in a really long time. Its hard to remember it. Its so dark where I am”. I could make the light for you if your ready. “No I know I am not ready, I’m just so confused. I want to know who I am. I use to know. Why am I here. I need to know.” Okay I am going to help you through this. I promise its going to be okay.

~I have to phenomenal artist working on something that I believe will be instrumental in helping Mary cross over when the time is right. I am currently doing historical research on the area. Mary’s case is defiantly a work in progress.

Why Share Project Spirit Talk here?

Well there are several reasons the first is that I am looking to share with other psychics & mediums who may pick up information when spirits are requiring help with unfinished business. Second its a way to share these spirits stories and lives as many feel forgotten and want to make sure part of them lives on. And last for those who are just interested in the subject matter. This project can be a learning experience for all of us. The questions that are asked and answered and the things that are shared can enrich us all. If you have any questions please email me or add my personal page on Facebook so you can stay in touch.